Dear Elijah, This is how I met your mother… 

Let me start by saying, At the time of this writing you are 2 years old. I havnt even met you yet, but i just dropped your mother off so she can go to truck driving school. I am at a Werner drop yard down in Greensboro, NC talking to her on the phone as she makes her way back to your grandmother’s house in Hampton, VA…. But this letter is about how I met her and what we did when we first met. Someday you’ll read this, and hopefully you will love it. 

Where to begin… 

I suppose I should just start at the begining really. I was a rookie truck driver fresh out of training amd ready to go anywhere the road took me. That’s when my coolant began leaking at a truck stop in pensylvannia. It clearly needed repair, but my intuition told me to wait… and so I did. I received a load that sent me to Columbus Ohio, to which I thought I would get the truck fixed there… when I got there 2 things happened. First, the coolant wasn’t leaking at all anymore when I got to the mechanic. Second, I was given a very irregular load to South Boston, VA… it was a completely empty trailer, family dollar for some reason paid to have sealed and a BOL to be transferred some 800 miles away… to which never happens, and I Judy can’t help thinking it was a mix of paper work that brought me to meet her. … anyway… I get to South Boston, VA and spent the night at a truck stop. When I awoke the coolant was leaking all over the ground…. so I called dispatch to find a mechanic. They told me, the nearest place to get it fixed within 400 miles was a town called Greensboro, NC. So I stoped the load off and as fast as I could I drove down to the peterbuilt dealer. 

I got there on monday July 3rd at 11 am but the mechanic was closed for the 4th… they told me it needs a new radiator, and it will take time, the soonest they could get me out was Wensday afternoon…. BUT they had a hotel right next door with a pool and it was all on my company’s dime… so being stranded for repairs wasn’t so bad.  

Now that the Context is set… 



I met your mom on Facebook. She was in a dating group that I was in and she sent me a random friend request. This particular group had a lot of foreign girls in it, I thought she was from a whole different place… and yet what the heck.. I said hi to her anyway. 

According to your mother, she thought I was from Greensboro, NC. Since I tagged myself in some pictures of the hotel… She didn’t expect a truck driver from Buffalo, N.Y… between you and me, I suspect she just thought I was sexy. 

Anyway we got to talking that night, found we had alot of common interests and goals… then the conversation moved to us not doing anything for the fourth of July… She was working that night at a hospital. I was stuck in a hotel. Otherwise we just chit chatted really. The next day I messaged her again, we chit chated some more, next thing I know she was coming over to the hotel and i was buying IPA beer at a gas station so we can get drunk after she got out of work.

I didnt think she was actually coming over. At the same time I hated meeting her at a hotel… Then again I was wondering if this was a sleezy girl to be so willing to a guys hotel room with beer… despite all these reserves there was beer involved and as a gentleman I wasn’t going to make any moves on her. I intended, if she made any moves on me I would send her off asap and just go back to sleep. When she got there I had no idea what to expect and I kinda just thought it be better to take her to the hotels out door patio area. 

We drank and laughed all night long, I think untill there abouts 3 am. Your mom was a perfect lady and made a fine impression on me…. AND she certainly can handle her ale just fine….( I’ll tell you how to test a womans character later, if i hadnt already don’t let me forget. Beer is important)

She drove home completely drunk despite my offer to get her a seperate hotel room. (As a gentleman of course). According to her I found out later, she thought I ment stay in my room…. anyways…

 I woke up the next day with a hang over and a sunburn trudging into the mechanic shop to discover they were almost ready for me to take the truck. I checked out of the hotel, waited a bit while I texted her to make sure she got home ok and some chit chat… AND then I got my truck back!. It wasn’t long at all when I got a new load out in Virginia some place so I rolled out thinking I would never see this lovely lady again… yet it really didn’t bother me if I didn’t. She seemed like a cool person – nothing really stood out to me in particular. Maybe I will maybe not… 

After just 50 miles driving… I was leaking coolant again! So, I called dispatch, they cancelled my new load and i went back to Greensboro…. I texted your mom told her what happened. This time I was just going to sleep in the truck at a nearby rest area then go to the mechanic the next morning. Your mom had mentioned she wanted to paint her kitchen… I had nothing to do that day, so I offered to help her. 

She gave me her address, and when I looked at her street from satellite view on Google maps, I figured I could bobtail there…. though because of hours of service regulations I would have to park there over night. So I explained this to her, and if she doesn’t feel comfortable with me sleeping in her house I can sleep in the truck… She didn’t understand HOS, but she was cool either way. I got started painting her kitchen for her,  she left me alone in her house while she went to work….. While she was gone, I went too the grocery store and made her speghetti 😀 We chit chated more and more, and I ended up sleeping on her couch after a movie. 

I woke up again the next day, and made me and her some Matcha. I didn’t have to go to the mechanic right away, and by this point I liked your mom and wanted to hang out with her! 

When I left for the mechanic, the new leak was an easy fix. The guy literally just went under the truck and tightened 1 screw. The Problem was solved…. until i drove 100 miles away that is and the coolant was leaking once more…. 

This was when it hit me… there was something very special about her…

I had full confidence in this mechanic, despite this being the third time it broke with the same issue. They had very good reviews, i spoke with several owner operators there whom only go there…. the shop didn’t strike me as having poor integrity. I knew they were the type to take pride in their work and always make sure things were done right the first time…. but a voice in my head said, this isn’t about the truck, it’s about her. While I considered these things, i told the mechanic “I know you guys are good people, just do what you gotta do”…. He looked at me as if I insulted him somehow – he didn’t know what I knew whats going on behind the scenes of course…. Either way I just left it at that… 

Once again I called your mom. She laughed that the truck was broken again and invited me over once more. I stayed the night slept on the couch. Once more I made matcha in the morning then rolled out to the mechanic…. 

It was finally fixed

Little buddy, this is important, because this is how god works. This is when you know you are being lead to green pastures or perhaps being gifted a gift. Through all these break downs, followed by only a $50 paycheck for the week sure I could have gotten upset. But by hearing God’s voice and seeing the situation I was in, how all this played out… I knew full well at this point that your mother would become my wife…. and I wasn’t even in love with her yet, nor do I ascribe to “love at first sight”…. I just knew and all my instincts just adjusted to what I knew…. and it’s when I came to just knowing this, the truck worked perfectly fine again…..  Do not ignore these things in your own life. These are the little signs and signals you should always watch for and you will see how God sets the stage up for something wonderful to happen. Never be too distracted to listen carefully and you will hear him and see his hand at work for yourself in your own life. 🙂  

I Came back

From Greensboro, NC I rolled the truck all around only to schedual my hometime in Greensboro the very next week. I chated with your mom quite a bit while I was out, and I really liked her… So why not come back and have some fun with her I thought…

Your mom on the other hand, had another idea…. That is, instead of me taking her someplace fun, we do a paper bag floor in her laudry room…. Being a gentleman, I went along with this, and it turned out to be alot of fun anyway. We sat on the floor all night drinking beer ripping paper, glueing it to the floor, followed by staining…. the entire time I was flirting with her, but I don’t think she caught my advances. Also, the whole time I just wanted to hug her and kiss her on that floor, but it didn’t seem like the right moment – I probably should have then, now that I think about it…. 

Our first kiss

Your mom is the type of girl who doesnt  realize when a guy is flirting with her.  Such woman needs a kiss in such cases or it goes way over their heads and all you end up as is “just friends”…. 

When she brought me back to the truck I packed up my stuff as she was getting ready to rush out of there… I stoped her and asked; “Do you need anything”.

She was rushing over to her car, scrambling off to work and told me no… when I walked over and told her “I need something, just don’t hold it against me”… then I pecked her on the lips softly… 

She pulled away smiling, nervous, and in a rush… pulled her hair back over her ear and just said as she opened her car door. “I won’t hold it against you”. Nervously, she  jumped in and speed off as quick as she could…

So I caught her off guard, but I figured someone had to break the ice and if she hated me for it, well… I don’t have to see her again anyways so no harm done… My thinking was, She’ll either fall for me or run away I was fine with both outcomes…. when she speed off the way she did I thought she was just nervous, but worried I miss read her and she was actually angry… So I waited about an hour…

She texted me… 

And she wasn’t angry at all 🙂 

Dispatch sent me on a fantastic run

When I left I was sent all the way to the northern tip of Michigan, then back south to indiana. Then west all the way to Sandiego, CA. I spent a great deal of time in the desert along route 40 and 10 during that trip taking pictures of all the beautiful landscapes in Oklahoma, New Mexico and Arizona… meanwhile holding 5 – 6 hour phone calls with your mom and sending her pictures…. it seemed I had caught her attention….

Meanwhile when I wasn’t on the phone with her I prayed about her…. I think towards the end of that run I took serious consideration of your mother… I already knew God was setting me up with her. I already knew we had many common goals and interests.. and i also already knew, she and I would make a great couple…. what i didnt know was if she was ready to commit to me… and so I just thought about these things while I hiked around the desert in Arizona and kept my thoughts to myself..  

While i was on my way back to North Carolina, She told me she wanted to get a CDL and team drive with me…. I had to double take on this she caught me off guard. Infact I didn’t believe her at first though my heart was sinking hearing this…. It took a couple days of her telling me this that I figured out she’s was being serious…. 

I called Werner told them what she wanted and if the company could have me as her trainer after her truck school…. I was told I needed to have 6 months experience before then. As it worked out… when she would be done with school and got her license I would have 6 months 😀 after training it can be arranged that we team drive, I just gotta call my guy Scott at recruiting and he will set everything up, including a brand new truck. 😀

Your mother was thrilled, and began shopping for a truck school. You being very important, she had be around her family in Hampton, VA so that someone can baby sit you…. Though I tried to convince her to go to a better school I knew of in Florida and perhaps I could get a baby sitter there… The fact is, your mother knew what’s best. I’m sire the school she picked is just fine… I only wanted her to go to what i knew was the best, and with people I knew would take betty good care of her.
Road Trip

Your mom had another surprise for me. She told me she wanted to quit her job leave you with grandma, and roll around in the truck with me for 2 weeks… What a woman I thought, and how can I say no? Also, with 3 days off before we rolled out, I could finally start properly courting her. 

Our first date

I found a place in town: “Kersey Valley” and bought a couple tickets for an escape the room game in a haunted mansion. BUT it wasn’t until later that night so we had time to kill… I treated her to breakfast at a really cool looking coffee shop called “The Green Bean”. We spent all morning there drinking coffee and chatting about nothing in particular. She really wanted to show me this park in town, and so after a good while we left to see it. It was a beautiful botanical garden park, adjacent to another park that was a swamp. We walked around, nervously flirting with each other and taking in the beautiful flowers, statues, and old buldings… We sat on a swing bench, where I wanted to kiss her once again, but I held back seeing how tense she was… this garden was overwhelmingly romantic, I think your mom didn’t know and was worried it would overwhelm me in someway.. and here is when I found out your momma was a pervert – asking me all kinds of sex questions… I just laughed and answered her, but I took it as she clearly likes me 😉 but I could see it was also nervous tension…  

We walked over to the other park that was a swamp with a boardwalk. It was also very pretty with ducks and the kind of rustic charm I love about North Carolina…. As it is though, we still had time to kill so I found a craft beer shop near the coffee place, bought us a 6 pack of mix match beers, then we went window shopping in some of the craft shops…. 

While we were walking down Elm st. Going no where in particular your mom was hungry and i saw a sushi restraunt. So I asked her if she ever had real sushi… She told me no, but please don’t spend so much money on her…. Bullocks I thought, so grabbed her by the hand and ran across the street to feed her…. We were the only 2 people in that restraunt, I got us a dragon roll and avacodo roll, green tea, and hibachi…. Your mother, was so modest looking at the prices on the menu… I had to keep telling her “Don’t worry about it, you gotta let me upgrade you a little bit”. She smiled, and said ok you can upgrade me. After dinner, we had another hour to kill, we went back to the truck to drop the beer off and move some things around to get her settled in… then we went off to our haunted mansion adventure…. We had a great time even though we failed to escape the room. There were ghosts, and puzzles, things jumping out at us, clues, fog machines and black lights… By the time we got back to the truck we were so tired we fell asleep.

Let me just say this now. I am a perfect gentleman…. I insisted on sleeping on the top bunk seperate from your mom. 

The next day we went back to the coffee shop for breakfast, I had to provision while in town and we just went around town buying food to stock up on and beer. Later that night we got drunk in the truck listening to music… I handed your mom my phone and told her to show me some country music songs she likes….

See I’m a Yankee city boy, I don’t listen to country music… and I figured she would know some of the best of it… sure enough she did. This was the first song she picked for me, “Cruise” by: Georgia-Florida State Line…. AND I LOVED IT:

As the night went on, I could see her serenading me with YouTube… I took the phone and began serenading back at her, and we just went back and forth with each other with love songs…. I was falling in love with her very quickly… yet at the same time I felt as if I knew her forever…. BUT it was also hot so I took my shirt off… Your mom being the pervert she is looked at my shorts and told me “You must have a really big dick”. I laughed blushing, realizing my buldge was rather obvious through the shorts I was wearing… I sat down and made fun of her.. 

That night when we went to sleep together in the same bed cuddleing each other. I thought about her and me… I thought about you and thinking how I could raise a kid. I thought about our first kiss, the song she played for me… how much I liked her, how much we have in common, how much we have the same goals. I thought about her temperment, and how well we could be as team drivers. I thought about what could go wrong here what’s her flaws and can I see myself putting up with her for weeks at a time…. I prayed on these things and I just heard God’s voice telling me, “She is perfect for you, Im giving her to you, take care of her she’s yours”

… I just felt so perfect with her. I knew she would be mine and all I had to do was kiss her and we could make love right there… but I waited. And I don’t really know why I waited… but I did… it just didn’t feel like the right moment. So all these considerations I kept in my heart and fell sleep as she was caressing my hand with her velvet like fingers. 

The last day on my time off we just sat around the truck not doing anything in particular besides drinking more beer… that night… I had it my mind, it was stupid for me to wait and As we cuddled I began makeing out with her…. As our clothes were starting to come off and I began to get in her panties your mom pushed me off…. I knew she wanted it, she knew I wanted it…. But, she had too much integrity as a lady should. She told me I havnt had a woman in over 5 years, why break it now, especially considering what sex ment to me and she couldn’t be the one…. I heard her, and I myself knew i was ready for her and commit to her… but she didn’t know it… 

I wasn’t angry about it, I just rolled over and tried to get my mind off sex while I fell asleep… 

The next day when we woke up, I told her I understand if she wants to leave now, but this is her last chance I can’t stop for 2 weeks… I felt a little guilty about making my move the night before, and I was relieved she didn’t seem to think anything of it when she told me “Lets go”. 

We rolled out of the drop yard 
  

Little buddy I won’t lie to you even though your mom says I should, and maybe she’s right… We didn’t wait very long at all… I rolled out, drove around North Carolina a bit and at the end of my shift we stopped at I-26 SB rest area at mile marker 41… we did some macramae, watched true blood and cuddled… and the way your mom kept touching my back and caressing my hair…. We started making out all over again. As I was kissing her in my mind I cried out to god asking “Should I Lord take this woman” and i heard him tell me “yes, she is yours I gave her to you”… it was just then she told me she can’t resist me this time and I asked her… “Will you be my girl” she nodded and so I continued to make love to her, and it was a beautiful thing. 

She was the first woman I did anything with for 5 years since my Christian conversion, and I intended there and then to be completely hers. I wasn’t ready yet to say “I love you”…. and i told her this when she had asked… OH but I was falling very hard, this woman was in my every dream for weeks to come. I knew we would be a perfect couple, and I knew God had already blessed us as a couple. 

Then there is her son

As I am writing this, you may have noticed you were not anywhere in this story… so I just thought I would take a moment to touch on it. Your mom had made arrangements with your grandmother to watch you for a month while she was getting her house furnished and ready for you to move in when I met her… Also she wanted to find a day care, etc etc all kinds of things had to be set up that any parent would have to put together. I don’t know too many details, I just know she had only just moved there. But this is why I hadnt met you yet. I’ve seen pictures of you and had alot of questions about you of course, and I wasn’t nervous about the obvious conclusion I would be your step dad…. Your mom wanted me to meet you when I got back to Greensboro, however she came up with the idea to get a CDL instead – just as the ball rolled when that box of worms opened, the timing wasn’t right…. your mother and I both really felt it was more important at the moment to get her truck driving ASAP… Don’t get me wrong, I am eager to meet you… We’ve already made plans on what were doing when I finally do… things are just up in the air with many changes at the moment and there’s a lot of logistics we have to work out. 

In our 2 week run

Falling in love is like this…. We did so much for 2 weeks it felt like forever, and yet it’s all such a blur. As I sit here writing this, i struggle to remember, yet at the same time I don’t know how to summarize it…. perhaps it’s too soon and it all hasnt sunk in yet. The butterflies your mom left in my heart are blinding me from anything besides how much I miss her now that’s she’s left…. I want her so badly with me right now, but she’s gone back to Hampton, VA to begin truck school. So I will have to continue our journey into love in another article, in the meantime I’ll give you this summary. 

We cuddled ALOT. We drank ALOT. We ate out ALOT. We took hikes in the woods at various parts of the country ALOT, we Kissed ALOT. We held hands ALOT. We prayed ALOT, and we taught each other alot…. We did alot

and I knew that I loved her when we kissed in the South Carolina summer sunlight. In a forest clearing on a blanket by a stream. 

She gave me this song… and I knew it’s a song from her heart that I will treasure always

Christian Dating…. Phase 2

After phase 1 I think I started to see what it was I was actually looking for in a girl. Though it was obvious they become a different species when put in a date kind of setting… Believe it or not I get along great with girls otherwise, as friends and nothing more, And I’m perfectly content with that. I think it’s weird to try to be something different actually… The minute I ask to buy them coffee, it’s like a switch flips off in their minds and they become a different person entirely from my first impression. That and I felt a little burnt out picking up girls randomly off the street. This was clearly not working, atleast for the most part. So I took to the internet!

This was where I discovered girls are even more complicated. But atleast they explain everything they expect from a guy on their profiles, and we can chat a bit from a distance before meeting…. right?

So I started chatting with one girl, which fizzled quickly into nothing. Then I chated with another and another… which fizzled into nothing. 

Then I met another girl of which I thought was great. She seemed very smart, she wanted to travel more, we talked about Martin Luther.. She was Lutheran…. So i gave her my number, then we started texting instead of the internet..  She asked for me to take a picture to make sure I was a real person, so I did. She sent pictures of herself too and told me she was fat… Which I just laughed and told her she’s pudgy not fat. And she loved that…. 

The next day I get a call from her mother, asking about why a 29 year old man is texting her 16 year old daughter. She was furious with me, telling me she will track me down and send me to jail as a sexual predator…. So I’m sitting there, knowing I did nothing wrong or illegal, letting her rant and I told her very plainly. Her daughter has a profile that says she is 25. Also I would wager that if she has to track me down, there must be 200 other guys she has to track down so good luck on that – but I suggest you shut your kids internet off. She didn’t respond to nicely to that, but I wasn’t there to make friends, and I hung up… She got a hold of my mother somehow, with threats and accusations to which she got upset… I just told my mom the truth and told her not to worry about it. And that was that, though I would like to know how she got my mother’s number…. 

The Librarian

The next girl I seemed to have hit it off with online was a Librarian. We got to talking about different stuff and things, when the conversation shifted to her explaining to me how “Taxation is Theft”. That’s when my heart stoped and I was thinking I discovered a unicorn that must be caught! Non stop on the phone for several days, she was a very chatty girl and I completely enjoyed our conversations.

She mentioned she would love to see a Wicked on Broadway…. And that’s when I was like OMG I can get free tickets to wicked and it’s only an hour drive from her place… She didn’t live in (Buffalo, Ny btw and I was staying in Allentown, PA)…. Remember earlier I had said, the minute you ask a girl to buy her coffee a switch goes off and she becomes a different species…. For the first time, after several days she got very weird. Made up all kinds of excuses, then told me this isnt how marrying a man is supposed to be. I’m supposed to take her out to coffee first. And that Broadway plays are a 4th date kind of thing and I’m rushing things. Broadway play isn’t really a place to get to know each other she says… So I told her, well I have no problem with coffee – but we’ve been talking for several days now, I think we can skip some of the formalities of getting to know each other. Perhaps coffee at the zoo then, we can talk while looking at the animals and scenery – we could get to know each other there probably better then Broadway… Nope, it’s not part of the schedual and I’m an asshole – fine whatever. 

The next online girl was…. interesting 

The next week, I met another girl whom I thought was great. She seemed to love  talking about different things, including taxation being theft and about indirect taxation…. Which was great! Another unicorn, wow!

So I just gave her my number and we started texting and calling on and off. She was into ASMR so I watched some of her videos on YouTube. I was like OMG that’s really amazing. And I found out I’m one of the rare people who gets tingles from certain sounds…. (there is a whole other thing to explain with this subject)… But anyway, she invited me over to do asmr in person instead of videos…. At first I thought this was some kind of weird kinky sex thing. And yet I could see it was something else entirely…. So I went along with this. I did not ask to buy her coffee this time, I believe this is where I started to catch on to how girls operate…. Just let her lead was now my plan. 

So I get there and we do ASMR on each other all night long. It was probably the best date that ever happened to me. She said she couldn’t believe I was a virgin at this because I gave her major tingles- And the entire time she was quivering. Then she says since its getting warmer why don’t we go to this nudist camp nearby, just don’t expect to have sex… Now I’m a Christian, a very devout Christian but also a very flamboyant person – I reasoned with myself first (no sex being involved) and said sure let’s go! 

We get to the nudist camp, strip down and start hiking in the woods with only flip flops. She starts skipping, I started skipping. Then we found a stall that sells  body paint made from flowers and berries…. She wanted to do it, so I bought a kit. We began painting each other to look tribal… Then I found a spot in the woods and asked if she wanted to build a grass hut. She loved the idea, though I did most of the work… (It was a handsome, sturdy hut of quality workmanship and of course German ingenuity). She ended up makeing flower hats whilst I build our home in the woods. At the end of the day we sat around the camp fire, while I played the ukele I brought while she roasted marshmallows 🙂 we were smiling and laughing everything was great and then we went to bed. 

So it was a perfectly normal and wonderful hippy dating experience. We both thoroughly enjoyed ourselves. Though it did get cold and we had to get cloths back on…. More importantly, there was no sex. I was spooning her in oir hut All the while, I was thinking I could easily fall in love with this girl. She is everything I ever wanted, though I wasn’t sure if she was Christian. She was excellent at evading the subjects of religion and politics.

We awoke from our grass hut and went back to her place, where She wanted to do more ASMR. It started in a chair, but we took it the bed…. It was just easier to lay down, and we both agreed sex wasn’t going to happen… After going to a nudist camp and painting each other naked, we thought it’s safe to say by now that we can trust each other’s hormones…. And that’s where we did asmr on each other….

My conscience about asmr and what we were doing was bothering me the whole time I was seeing her…. It’s just, she described it as “mental orgasms”. Also the tingle feelings were supposed to be therapeutic yet from what I saw on the internet, there was definitely a pornographic weird sex thing side to this… but also a thereputic non sexual side- not knowing much about it really or seeing a difference, and the way I made her legs shake… I just felt like I have sinned somehow and couldn’t put my finger on it. Yet I didn’t see anything in scripture to suggest that I did. Soooo whatever, Never mind all of that, this girl was AMAZING!! 

So we made each other tingle in bed through the morning over coffee. And I over looked the fact her legs were quivering the whole time. She certainly had the same effect on me but it was then I noticed I ejaculated…. And my conscience began to bother me again while she grabbed a towel for it. I apologized and laughed, and I was embarrassed that it happened, and apologized again.. She on the other hand seemed to think it was perfectly normal. I confess, It was the most amazing sexual experience of my life. Yet I was amazed, she didn’t put a single finger on me to erouse it. I felt like a kid who just lost his virginity. Both pleased and guilty, and completely infatuated with this amazing creature. 

Every day for a week I stopped over and we whispered into each others ear, followed by coffee…. untill the end that is…. 

She whispered into my ear something Babylonian, of which I used to teach at the Theosophical Society…. (those who read ‘My Road to Christ’ – should know I was a teacher there). So I stoped her and ask where she learned this. She told me from a special course at theosophical society many years ago…. “I taught that course!”. I said. She said she knew that but wasn’t sure I remembered her… to be fair I didn’t, the room was always dark and there were 30 people in there at a time always coming and going anyway… I’m glad she seemed to understand why I didn’t recognize her… but I told her that I was Christian now. So she asked, how did this happen – and I told her the entire story, as she just listened….

When I was done, and I explained that Jesus gave me everything I have and I owe even my life to him. She said, every religion is good and everyone goes to heaven….. This little statement is what spiraled our conversation quickly into a whole new discussion. I found out she was a regular at Lily Dale, she often practiced witch craft- and asmr was her way of luring men as she invoked the spirit of the siren…. With some of the things she had to say that wouldn’t make sense to a normal christian – Suddenly, a lot of things from my neo-pagan past came back to me. I knew exactly what she was doing, I knew I had also fallen under a spell… 

So now with religion out of the bag… I can not marry a neo pagan as a Christian, and I can’t force her to convert anymore then she seemed inclined to. At the same time I felt slightly violated, and it suddenly occured to me that everything about this was wrong and would never work. It was about then we began arguing over me being chritian because I was brainwashed and according to her “lacked knowledge”…
I left angry and slightly heart broken, and yet reminded the world is a cruel place. Then I prayed that God would forgive me – And to protect me from girls like this. 

That’s the end of her 

After this experience I’ve met a few other girls online sorta off and on. But I kinda felt like they are all the same. After this last one I’m really not interested. I have resolved a new strategy, that is to stop looking and let her come to me on God’s timing. Anything other seems to just lead to convivilaity. I’m still talking with the aquarium girl from the last article on this on and off – I just don’t expect it to go anywhere, but leaving the door open anyway. 

I shouldn’t have gone online. I met other girls on there not mentioned, that seemed nice. Yet, otherwise they’re not interested in me. In a way I kind of feel like they’re just jerking my chain of which I have little patience with so I just won’t bother. 

Mainly I think the trouble I have with dating is I have taken a secular approach to it, instead of a Christian one. Everything I have done is what I was always told in how adults date each other. In addition There is a whole science of compatibility involved that seems to get in the way more often then not. Followed by a generalized script and procedure involved… And sure when I finally went off the script and procedure I actually got alot further with it, and even then my heart was crushed over a fling.

Dating in modern times seems to be, you have to have sex with each other on the first date or it won’t go any further then that… of which I can not and will not do. (ASMR is now considered sex in my mind). So if I never get married because of it, fine with me. I’ll marry my PlayStation instead. 

I’m a Nazi… So what?

Ok my leftist friend, you caught me – I confess… I’m a full fledged Nazi. 😗

I sleep with a copy of Mein Kampf, I support racism, and especially hate the Jews. Yup, you had me pegged all along – I guess your too smart even for me 🤗

Siege Heil der Fürher!!!

There I admit it and look…. No one even cares.

Now that aside, on a serious note I’m just going to say to the left – one day  REAL Nazism will make a come back. And when it does the left will cry out “He’s a nazi, that’s facism”- and I guarantee, no one will care or even bat an eye to try to stop it… And the average SJW will only have themselves to blame. Just as it was in Germany in the 30’s, National socialism did not happen over night – it came by stages. The first stage was desensitization… and it only took about a decade for the rest to fall into place.

“It doesn’t matter what they say about you, as long as they spell your name right.”

By unrelentingly calling people a nazi or racist or facist, the only thing you achieve is desensitization of the term. More over, I guarantee 99% of the people you call a “Nazi” are not – but what they will do is look into actual Nazism just because you keep calling them that… Its a bit like advertiseing it inadvertantly. Of a truth, were already starting to see this phenomenon happen…. I direct your attention to a film circulating on the internet called;

“The Greatest Story Never Told- Adolf Hitler” …. Just this film has gained a growing and loyal fan base over the past few years, and the creator made a cozy career off it just on donations…. That and it’s also observable book sales  of mein kampf are in the rise in western countries like never before 2013…

Not to mention this is just plain childish and frankly it comes off as calling someone a “Witch”…. The left is flattered to be thought of as ‘forward thinking’, yet they seem intent on being stuck to ideas dated in 1492. Frankly, if I had to choose between Hitler or a child – Hitler actually has alot more intelligent things to say. Which does not speak to volumes of today’s left. Its easy to see how how he got support after the 1920’s Wiemar republic – and frankly the times are not too dissimilar for his rhetoric to resurface…  If you are advertising hitler in this way, Truely you don’t want to advertise him or his ideas – especially in this way. People will actually and unashamed become Nazis. Its easy for someone weaker minded then myself who would actually take it as the only other option the world has to offer.

It’s time to just let Hitler be dead – it’s been 70+ years. The sooner we bury this straw man, and actually educate people on him in a constructive way rather insults and baseless accusations, the better  off society will actually be.

Personal property vs private property 

Personal property means your house and your stuff. 
Private means something like an investment property or factory, or buisness. 
Private property is considered bourgeoisie property to exploit the proletariat…. however “Exploitation”, is subjective in communism, owning something is stealing/exploiting from someone else. And you can’t actually sell your own personal property as an investment either… so in communism, there’s algorithms you have to sift through untill it’s clear you will be assigned a house by the collective…. However they want to make that sound better so “Personal Property”

Private Property vs. Personal Property 

Personal property means your house and your stuff. 
Private means something like an investment property or factory, or buisness. 
Private property is considered bourgeoisie property to exploit the proletariat…. however Personal property, as some one else explained, is subjective – as in communism, owning something is stealing/exploiting from someone else. And you can’t actually sell your own personal property as an investment either… so in communism, there’s algorithms you have to sift through untill it’s clear you will be assigned a house by the collective…. However they want to make that sound better so “Personal Property”

My Take on Healthcare 

There is a take on healthcare from the christian perspective I think that’s seldom ignored. Yet sadly many Christians are getting swept up into the states rhetoric, or just following certainly leaders blindly. 

Have you ever noticed the lost world always tries to stay young, look young or live longer…. It’s from a fear of death…. As if in some subconscious wisdom, they know they do not have eternal life. The entire debate on healthcare is centered on this fear. Never… in the history of America, or really christiandom, has there been such a fervent push for health care. Yet of course I know it’s perpetuated also by pharmaceutical companies… 

The contrast being, as Christians we have no fear. Atleast to me, it’s fine if I died tomorrow – I know where I go and what to atleast generally expect. I’m a person who takes care of himself and never goes to the doctor. In some ways, I even consider death a release from this wretched world I’m stuck in. Frankly I would prefer to go home then be a slave to a doctor – and indeed, the chronically ill in this country are slaves to their doctors. 

That’s just me though. 

So, I’m sitting here watching the satanic forces at work around this issue. I pray for our nation…. Not for our health, but for our minds. We truely are a brainwashed society – I just didn’t realize how much so before. 

Christianity vs. Statism 

Taken from unnamed facebook writer. 
The overall scriptural narrative is anti-imperial. The “great” kings like Pharaoh and others are foils to show the true greatness of God. In 1 Samuel 8, the people ask for a human king, and god sees this as a disaster, as being opposed to his own kingship.  At best, governments are a mere concession on God’s part to humans.
As John Howard Yoder points out, even in the temptations of Jesus (Matt. 4:1-11, Luke 4:1-13) indicate a rejection of worldly power.  The third temptation of Christ is “the kingdoms of the world and their splendor,” which Satan can give Jesus if he pays obeisance to Satan. Satan is considered “the Prince [ruler] of this world” and is quite sincere in his offer, and Jesus, who is the messiah, did not brush it off as impossible. But Jesus seems to understand that the kingdoms of this world do belong to Satan, and his followers should not think otherwise. Furthermore, the theme of Babylon as an evil state under the influence of Satan permeates the book of Revelation. In Revelation 18:4, for instance, God exhorts His church to “come out of her [Babylon], my people, so that you will not share in her sins, so that you will not receive any of her plagues.”
The differences between the kingdom of man and the Kingdom of God is fundamental to understand. Indeed, this is the biggest mistake made throughout history. Theologians like John Howard Yoder call this problem “Constantinianism” in which the legitimized church gets entangled with the state, or embraces a “Christendom” that ultimately falls into the pattern of the world rather than be molded by Christ. This is not to say that Jesus is not at all “political,” and only focused on the spiritual (not stuff of life and resources here on earth). Just the opposite. Jesus is a King bringing forth the kingdom of God. So, the kingdom of God was itself, and remained, a thoroughly political concept. Jesus’ death was a thoroughly political event, and the existence and growth of the early church was a matter of community-building, in conflict politically, often enough, with other communities. 
 But Jesus explicitly says that, “My kingdom is not from this world… my kingdom is not from here” (John 18:36). The “rules of the kingdom” as explained in the Sermon on the Mount are unlike any sort of state laws that have ever existed. Furthermore, it is not the job of the Christian to use physical force to bring about his kingdom, but rather to “seek first his kingdom and his righteousness” (Matt. 6:33). The kingdoms of man are founded upon power and violence, but the Kingdom of God is founded upon humility (Matt. 18:4), service (Matt. 20:26), and love (John 13:35). While we cannot help being entangled with/in states in this world, we are reminded once again that “our citizenship is in heaven” (Philippians 3:20).
The difference between the kingdom of God and the kingdom of the world comes down to the kind of power they trust. The kingdoms of the world place their trust in whatever coercive power they can exercise over others. We can think of this kind of power as the power of the “sword” (and that is the language of Romans 13 as well). In contrast, the kingdom of God refuses to use coercive power over people, choosing instead to rely exclusively on whatever power it can exercise under people. This is the transforming power of humble, self-sacrificial, Christlike love. Exercising power under others is about impacting people’s lives by serving them, sacrificing for them, and even be sacrificed by them while refusing to retaliate, as Jesus did. We can think of this kind of power as the power of the cross, for the cross is the purest expression of humble servant-like, self-sacrificial love. 
While the kingdom is in a sort of opposition to the nations, this doesn’t mean kingdom people are always to be law breakers. When laws conflict with the rule of God, of course, they must break them (Ac 5:39). But otherwise they are naturally to go along with them, for not doing so would unnecessarily get in the way of our call to build the kingdom. But we submit to laws not because they have ultimate “authority” over us, but primarily because we submit to God. This brings us to Romans 13 (and Titus 3:1-3, 1 Timothy 2:1-3, and 1 Peter 2:11-17).
Most importantly, Romans 13 must be read in conjunction with the verses that immediately precede it.  In this case, Romans 12:17-21. There are no chapter markers in the original text, and it only makes sense as a single unit. Scholars (again see Yoder for details) see the parallel structure in the language itself as impossible to be coincidentalI. In these passages Paul tells kingdom people they are to love and serve their enemies and never exact vengeance on them. Rather, we are to leave all judgment to God. Then, beginning in Romans 13, Paul tells us one of the ways God exacts vengeance on people: he uses governments. So God uses governments, as he finds them, to do the very thing he has just forbidden kingdom people to do. The passage thus shows not that Christians have a responsibility to participate in government, but that we have an obligation not to participate when it does things we as kingdom people are forbidden to do (like using violence against wrongdoers).
Verse 1 of Romans 13 says that state authorities are instituted by God. Paul’s primary message for Christians, however, is not that states are specially instituted in the same way as the family and church, but rather that the state is not operating outside of the plans of God. In this sense, the state is divinely instituted in the same way that Satan is divinely instituted. God is not surprised when states act the way they do. As noted specifically in the Gospels, the state is understood throughout Scripture as being intimately tied to Satan and his kingdom, and patently opposed to the kingdom of God. The state’s status within God’s ultimate plan does not legitimize the evil the state commits.
Submission to civil government, then, is always qualified. The command is to obey in general, but sometimes we will disobey public policy because of personal and Scriptural conviction. Christians are to obey most policy whenever directly requested to do so, but ensuring active compliance with every public policy is unnecessary. All submission is directed at being expedient and practical toward men and glorifying toward God.
Verses 2-4 indicate that if you irritate the state then you will face wrath, but if you behave in the way the state wants then they will be pleased. At many points, what the state defines as good and evil may be very much opposed to what God defines as good and evil. But what Paul is telling the believers in Rome is that if they do something that the Roman government defines as evil then they will likely be punished for it. We cannot overly abstract this verse from its cultural context and make it an absolute requirement on all cultures at all times. To do so would be to put Christians under a great bondage to bad public policy. There is no compelling reason to think that Paul was deliberately writing about any particular rulers other than those in the first century Roman Empire.
Paul knew full well the power of Nero and the potential harm he could cause to Christians in Rome via the common term of the times for such state power, “the sword.” He does not want believers to be persecuted for anything other than the name of Christ and what he stands for. Paul reminds the Roman Christians, though, that even the dreadful power of the state is not outside the power of God. His message to them is the same as Romans 8:28, that “all things work together for good for those who love God, who are called according to his purpose.” Even the state or enemies can indeed be a means of sanctification for the Lord’s church.

Verses 5-7 expand upon the reasons for submitting and include practical ways the Roman Christians were to respond to Paul’s message. The reason we must submit to government is to avoid wrath or worrying about being harmed by the state authority. God does not want us to be entangled with the affairs of this world to the point where such involvement detracts from our primary mission. The believers were concerned that the Roman state would find a legal reason to persecute them.  Paul also says to submit to paying taxes for the same reason: avoiding state wrath in order to live for God, and be seen as good by others. 
The fact that Paul needs to stress the need for civil obedience itself tells fairly strongly, if paradoxically, in favor of this basic Christian Anarchist  anti-power-over perspective. It implies that, without some such restraining counsel, some might have heard Paul’s teaching to imply that the church was to become a Christian version of the Jewish zealots, owing allegiance to no one except God and therefore under obligation to rebel violently against human rulers, and to refuse to pay taxes. The paragraph can therefore be seen, not as evidence that Paul would not have been saying anything subversive, but that he had been, and now needed to make clear what this did, and particularly what it did not mean. It did not mean for the church taking up “the sword” themselves.
For Paul to even say that the ruler is answerable to God is itself a Jewish point over against pagan ruler-cult. Caesar did not, normally, owe allegiance to anyone except himself, and perhaps, though at a surface level, the traditional Roman gods. Paul declares, with massive Jewish tradition behind him, that Caesar is in fact responsible to the true God, whether or not he knows it. This is an undermining of pagan totalitarianism, not a reinforcement of it. 
Paul wants the Roman Christians to live appropriately in the tension between present and future. This does not mean, as Paul’s own example bears out, that one must be politically totally compliant or repressed until the final reappearing of Jesus. Preaching and living the gospel must always mean announcing and following Jesus, rather than Caesar, as the true Lord. But the eschatological balance must be kept. The church must live as a sign of the coming complete kingdom of Jesus Christ; but since that kingdom is characterized by peace, love and joy it cannot be inaugurated in the present by chaos, hatred and anger.
Romans 13 is not an abstract, blanket statement that requires submission to all state laws, in all places, for all circumstances, at all times. Nor is it a prescription for what particular form of government is sanctioned by God or for how states should act. The historical context and wording requires us to be careful when making pronouncements about what a Christian’s submission to the state looks like. 
Any Christian obedience to government is for the purpose of expedient peaceful living and bringing no dishonor to the name of Christ. It is part of enemy love as is explicitly clear from Romans 12. But we are not obligated to follow every jot of public policy. Moreover, we are not supposed to follow any law that goes against the law of God. If we are to be persecuted, it should be for the name of Christ and what he stands for, not for refusing to follow some random law when directly threatened by state action. Romans 13 is part of a radical message of an alternative way of living, even among the world at odds with the ways of the church. It is not a ticket to fall into the historical disastrous anti-gospel attempts at Christendom within the Constantinian paradigm.

Anarch Capitalism 101

How does anarchism work best. 

The capitalist answer would be to simply decentralize every one and every company. Let the market be constantly broken up with each company competing with each other. In this way, anarchism can thrive sustainablably, without ever allowing so much as the possibility of a state to form. There is unity in division by cooperation.

This is the contrast to communism of which “anarch communism” is of a truth an oxymoron, that still has an incomplete answer as to how it should function in any practical/permanent way. 

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