After phase 1 I think I started to see what it was I was actually looking for in a girl. Though it was obvious they become a different species when put in a date kind of setting… Believe it or not I get along great with girls otherwise, as friends and nothing more, And I’m perfectly content with that. I think it’s weird to try to be something different actually… The minute I ask to buy them coffee, it’s like a switch flips off in their minds and they become a different person entirely from my first impression. That and I felt a little burnt out picking up girls randomly off the street. This was clearly not working, atleast for the most part. So I took to the internet!
This was where I discovered girls are even more complicated. But atleast they explain everything they expect from a guy on their profiles, and we can chat a bit from a distance before meeting…. right?
So I started chatting with one girl, which fizzled quickly into nothing. Then I chated with another and another… which fizzled into nothing.
Then I met another girl of which I thought was great. She seemed very smart, she wanted to travel more, we talked about Martin Luther.. She was Lutheran…. So i gave her my number, then we started texting instead of the internet.. She asked for me to take a picture to make sure I was a real person, so I did. She sent pictures of herself too and told me she was fat… Which I just laughed and told her she’s pudgy not fat. And she loved that….
The next day I get a call from her mother, asking about why a 29 year old man is texting her 16 year old daughter. She was furious with me, telling me she will track me down and send me to jail as a sexual predator…. So I’m sitting there, knowing I did nothing wrong or illegal, letting her rant and I told her very plainly. Her daughter has a profile that says she is 25. Also I would wager that if she has to track me down, there must be 200 other guys she has to track down so good luck on that – but I suggest you shut your kids internet off. She didn’t respond to nicely to that, but I wasn’t there to make friends, and I hung up… She got a hold of my mother somehow, with threats and accusations to which she got upset… I just told my mom the truth and told her not to worry about it. And that was that, though I would like to know how she got my mother’s number….
The next girl I seemed to have hit it off with online was a Librarian. We got to talking about different stuff and things, when the conversation shifted to her explaining to me how “Taxation is Theft”. That’s when my heart stoped and I was thinking I discovered a unicorn that must be caught! Non stop on the phone for several days, she was a very chatty girl and I completely enjoyed our conversations.
She mentioned she would love to see a Wicked on Broadway…. And that’s when I was like OMG I can get free tickets to wicked and it’s only an hour drive from her place… She didn’t live in (Buffalo, Ny btw and I was staying in Allentown, PA)…. Remember earlier I had said, the minute you ask a girl to buy her coffee a switch goes off and she becomes a different species…. For the first time, after several days she got very weird. Made up all kinds of excuses, then told me this isnt how marrying a man is supposed to be. I’m supposed to take her out to coffee first. And that Broadway plays are a 4th date kind of thing and I’m rushing things. Broadway play isn’t really a place to get to know each other she says… So I told her, well I have no problem with coffee – but we’ve been talking for several days now, I think we can skip some of the formalities of getting to know each other. Perhaps coffee at the zoo then, we can talk while looking at the animals and scenery – we could get to know each other there probably better then Broadway… Nope, it’s not part of the schedual and I’m an asshole – fine whatever.
The next online girl was…. interesting
The next week, I met another girl whom I thought was great. She seemed to love talking about different things, including taxation being theft and about indirect taxation…. Which was great! Another unicorn, wow!
So I just gave her my number and we started texting and calling on and off. She was into ASMR so I watched some of her videos on YouTube. I was like OMG that’s really amazing. And I found out I’m one of the rare people who gets tingles from certain sounds…. (there is a whole other thing to explain with this subject)… But anyway, she invited me over to do asmr in person instead of videos…. At first I thought this was some kind of weird kinky sex thing. And yet I could see it was something else entirely…. So I went along with this. I did not ask to buy her coffee this time, I believe this is where I started to catch on to how girls operate…. Just let her lead was now my plan.
So I get there and we do ASMR on each other all night long. It was probably the best date that ever happened to me. She said she couldn’t believe I was a virgin at this because I gave her major tingles- And the entire time she was quivering. Then she says since its getting warmer why don’t we go to this nudist camp nearby, just don’t expect to have sex… Now I’m a Christian, a very devout Christian but also a very flamboyant person – I reasoned with myself first (no sex being involved) and said sure let’s go!
We get to the nudist camp, strip down and start hiking in the woods with only flip flops. She starts skipping, I started skipping. Then we found a stall that sells body paint made from flowers and berries…. She wanted to do it, so I bought a kit. We began painting each other to look tribal… Then I found a spot in the woods and asked if she wanted to build a grass hut. She loved the idea, though I did most of the work… (It was a handsome, sturdy hut of quality workmanship and of course German ingenuity). She ended up makeing flower hats whilst I build our home in the woods. At the end of the day we sat around the camp fire, while I played the ukele I brought while she roasted marshmallows 🙂 we were smiling and laughing everything was great and then we went to bed.
So it was a perfectly normal and wonderful hippy dating experience. We both thoroughly enjoyed ourselves. Though it did get cold and we had to get cloths back on…. More importantly, there was no sex. I was spooning her in oir hut All the while, I was thinking I could easily fall in love with this girl. She is everything I ever wanted, though I wasn’t sure if she was Christian. She was excellent at evading the subjects of religion and politics.
We awoke from our grass hut and went back to her place, where She wanted to do more ASMR. It started in a chair, but we took it the bed…. It was just easier to lay down, and we both agreed sex wasn’t going to happen… After going to a nudist camp and painting each other naked, we thought it’s safe to say by now that we can trust each other’s hormones…. And that’s where we did asmr on each other….
My conscience about asmr and what we were doing was bothering me the whole time I was seeing her…. It’s just, she described it as “mental orgasms”. Also the tingle feelings were supposed to be therapeutic yet from what I saw on the internet, there was definitely a pornographic weird sex thing side to this… but also a thereputic non sexual side- not knowing much about it really or seeing a difference, and the way I made her legs shake… I just felt like I have sinned somehow and couldn’t put my finger on it. Yet I didn’t see anything in scripture to suggest that I did. Soooo whatever, Never mind all of that, this girl was AMAZING!!
So we made each other tingle in bed through the morning over coffee. And I over looked the fact her legs were quivering the whole time. She certainly had the same effect on me but it was then I noticed I ejaculated…. And my conscience began to bother me again while she grabbed a towel for it. I apologized and laughed, and I was embarrassed that it happened, and apologized again.. She on the other hand seemed to think it was perfectly normal. I confess, It was the most amazing sexual experience of my life. Yet I was amazed, she didn’t put a single finger on me to erouse it. I felt like a kid who just lost his virginity. Both pleased and guilty, and completely infatuated with this amazing creature.
Every day for a week I stopped over and we whispered into each others ear, followed by coffee…. untill the end that is….
She whispered into my ear something Babylonian, of which I used to teach at the Theosophical Society…. (those who read ‘My Road to Christ’ – should know I was a teacher there). So I stoped her and ask where she learned this. She told me from a special course at theosophical society many years ago…. “I taught that course!”. I said. She said she knew that but wasn’t sure I remembered her… to be fair I didn’t, the room was always dark and there were 30 people in there at a time always coming and going anyway… I’m glad she seemed to understand why I didn’t recognize her… but I told her that I was Christian now. So she asked, how did this happen – and I told her the entire story, as she just listened….
When I was done, and I explained that Jesus gave me everything I have and I owe even my life to him. She said, every religion is good and everyone goes to heaven….. This little statement is what spiraled our conversation quickly into a whole new discussion. I found out she was a regular at Lily Dale, she often practiced witch craft- and asmr was her way of luring men as she invoked the spirit of the siren…. With some of the things she had to say that wouldn’t make sense to a normal christian – Suddenly, a lot of things from my neo-pagan past came back to me. I knew exactly what she was doing, I knew I had also fallen under a spell…
So now with religion out of the bag… I can not marry a neo pagan as a Christian, and I can’t force her to convert anymore then she seemed inclined to. At the same time I felt slightly violated, and it suddenly occured to me that everything about this was wrong and would never work. It was about then we began arguing over me being chritian because I was brainwashed and according to her “lacked knowledge”…
I left angry and slightly heart broken, and yet reminded the world is a cruel place. Then I prayed that God would forgive me – And to protect me from girls like this.
That’s the end of her
After this experience I’ve met a few other girls online sorta off and on. But I kinda felt like they are all the same. After this last one I’m really not interested. I have resolved a new strategy, that is to stop looking and let her come to me on God’s timing. Anything other seems to just lead to convivilaity. I’m still talking with the aquarium girl from the last article on this on and off – I just don’t expect it to go anywhere, but leaving the door open anyway.
I shouldn’t have gone online. I met other girls on there not mentioned, that seemed nice. Yet, otherwise they’re not interested in me. In a way I kind of feel like they’re just jerking my chain of which I have little patience with so I just won’t bother.
Mainly I think the trouble I have with dating is I have taken a secular approach to it, instead of a Christian one. Everything I have done is what I was always told in how adults date each other. In addition There is a whole science of compatibility involved that seems to get in the way more often then not. Followed by a generalized script and procedure involved… And sure when I finally went off the script and procedure I actually got alot further with it, and even then my heart was crushed over a fling.
Dating in modern times seems to be, you have to have sex with each other on the first date or it won’t go any further then that… of which I can not and will not do. (ASMR is now considered sex in my mind). So if I never get married because of it, fine with me. I’ll marry my PlayStation instead.