“A certain moneylender had two debtors. One owed five hundred denarii, and the other fifty. When they could not pay, he cancelled the debt of both. Now which of them will love him more?”Simon answered, “The one, I suppose, for whom he cancelled the larger debt.” And he said to him,“You have judged rightly.”- Luke 7: 41 – 43
This short parable, is so telling about me. I am the man who owes 500 denarii… 5000 denarii more likely. My sins are so many, and even after I am forgiven still I fight with myself.
I am proud and boastful – downright arrogant. I burn with lust nearly every night Insufferably. I am slothful and indifferent. I lack manners or concern for others feelings…. I go to God and pray constantly to heal this side me, I hold back as best I can in life. I pray the spirit works in me away these things… Yet I am but a mild improvement after many years…. I am a man, that’s all I can be.
Yet I’m told by some regardless of my belief in Christ I’m doomed to hellfire. I’m told I do not have the best of fruits of the spirit, therefore I do not carry it at all – but it only strengthens my faith. While my sins are many – foolishness is thankfully not one of them.
Thank you God for grace, even for a wretched creature like me. Thank you for not judging me the way people do. Thank you for telling me you will take me as I am and make me someday perfect. I know for certain I can have faith in none other to want me. I am truely humbled, and exalt your mercy. My aligence and my service is in you. If it’s deemed not good enough, I desire your wrath as I truely deserve it.
I know until it’s proven, to no one’s doubt, my name is in the book of life, my flesh will be gone and my spirit can only cling to you. I can do no other, and I’m grateful thats all you ask of me. Amen