If I were running for president

If I were running for president heres a short list of what I will do. I believe I could actually get support for my policies. If you think the current GOP is too far right for you, then you have no idea what a real Far Right American politician looks like. This would be just my first term.

Foreign policy

You can forget words like “The Middle East” or “Muslim terrorist”. When im through sending bombs and missiles and nuclear war heads, that region will be renamed to “The Sea of Glass”. For 25 million square miles there will be only one structure, that is a memorial to our veterans who created that vast sea. Israel will be the only thing left standing otherwise, I might even consider spearing egypt.

We will rally international support to dismantle the UN. And we will win. The Geneva convention, not being constitutional, will also not be a problem. More on this later.

Domestic Terrorism

The term will be extended to anyone who adheres or promotes Socialism or Marxist ideology. I have a program I like to call “Re-Education camps” as a compassionate measure to fix this mental illness. In the same spirit of the dictators who created communism, followers of this cancer will be handed over to their desire.

Certain groups with terrorist ties will be deported. Whether before or after I create the Sea of glass, I will leave open to negotiation.

Working with the senate and congress

First thing is first, some people are being sent to Guantanimo bay for treason, im looking at Harry Reid, Chuck Schumer, Andrew Cuomo and Mitch McConnell. There will be many others, but rest assured there will be no dissent coming from the establishment… Guantanimo Bay will get very full of politicians very quickly.. I will also reinvent “waterboarding”it’s going to include a buggy board and sharks. I just hope they bring their swim trunks, they are going to love it!  Their seats in public office will be temporarily replaced with the fatest and laziest cats the animal shelter can find, until the next respective election cycle.

Creation of New States

There will be 3 new states, New Amsterdam, New Jefferson, and Chicago. I will lead the fight of states Succession whom already have discussion of dividing their state. New York, California and Illinois as we currently know them.

In addition to state succession I would be happy to welcome Puerto Rico as an American state. I may even consider allowing other US territories state hood status.

The Economy

You can forget subsidies, obamacare, and a whole list of other things,  were going full free market capitalism.

Health care will undergo major reforms as the industry will no longer be exempt from a free market. There will be no subsidies or frivolous research grants, or insurance altogether. There will be no inflated health care costs either. Hospitals and pharmaceutical companies will have to compete on a free market and they will have to be competitive in how they do buisness. Were returning to a time when doctors came to your home, and fixing a broken arm cost $5. Adjusted to inflation thats about $500 which is still much less then what you pay on your out of pocket cost under a insurance plan. (A Broken arm in the current system costing between $20,000 to $50,000)

Government mandates on insurance such as car or home owners insurance will be eliminated. There is no room for cronyism, especially insurance companies.

The federal reserve will be abolished and we will go to the silver standard.

The national debt will not be a problem since the UN will be disassembled along with the world bank. I figure its much cheaper and easier to eliminate both then to pay them back, besides the fact they no longer serve the worlds interest anyway… technically this falls under foreign policy, considering we would already have most international support for this.

Social Security reforms will also be drastic. There won’t be any more food stamps and other programs except for the elderly.  Otherwise we will be switching to a free market retirement plan where there is more stability and competitive return rates. For more information I refer your interest to the retirment plan in Galveston Texas, were bringing it nation wide.

Tax plan

Im shrinking the government so small your taxes will be less than 1%. Were making up the difference with the loss of every acronym you can think of. DMV, EPA, NSA, IRS… Just to name a few.

Education Reform

I have a special reform for both public and college education.  It begins with investigating every educators socialist or communist ideology. They will be going to federal prison for treason. Some may find themselves going to guantanamo bay.

We will abolish federal grants and loans and subsidies. You will be able to pay for college out of pocket with a part time job, because your college and University will be subject to a free market and will be forced to compete for your business – as both a consumer and a student. The college book store will also not be exempt from a free market. College professors are going to take a pay cut, whether they want to or not. Educators are not ment to be wealthy and aroggant, rather humble and wise.

Other initiatives

There will be 2 amendments to the constitution.  First is term limits on state and federal politicians. Second will be bans on lobbyists, special interest groups and super pacs.

Severe charity reform. Tax exempt status will no longer be handed out willy nilly. If you own a charity you had better actually do something useful. Im tired of seeing american charities advertise themselves as “Feed hungry americans” then say to hungry americans coming to them for food  “go file for food stamps”. That kind of thing is not tolerated under my administration or in my tax reforms.

Syrian refugees will be a given a “Return to Sender” stamp on their forehead. Whether before or after we create the Sea of Glass I’ll leave open to negotiation.

There will be a death penalty for severe criminal cases and repeat offenders.

The Gay marriage problem is solved so is divorce. I would get rid of marriage altogether in the government, and hand divorce cases over to the responsibility to the church couples got married in to begin with. All marriages will be handled by the church, and it will be individual churches discretion if they allow gay marriage or for the matter divorce. However they want to handle it, or divide assets, it’s up to them, not the government. Secularists will have to manage there own marriage problems or divorce. If they get married in a church however, they will have to handle divorce within that church. Other faiths will act in accordance to their religious prescription without any governmnet involvement. Marriage license or divorces will no longer be acceptable court cases for the state. Period. Problem solved. Period again.

The media will maintain Freedom of the Press, however the government will not be paying to support them. They are free to be subject to a free market and will no longer be subsidized by politicians buying them off.

There will be no more abortions. Every abortion clinic will be closed and there will be many people issued criminal 1st degree murder charges. Further no subsidy will be granted to any Healthcare facility, including abortion clinics. The tax payers are not going to pay for some sluts ‘mistake’. Exceptions for rape victims whether abortion is allowed for them will be left open to the states. Otherwise abortion will be considered murder.

Marijuana will be legalized without the need for a license, it can be as commonplace on store shelves as a bootle of asprin. When I say “free market capitalism”, I mean it. There will be no special permits or license. Even marijuana will be subject to a free market without government intervention. Other drugs such as heroine however, I may leave open to negotiation.

There is no room for illegal immigration or sanctuary cities. There will be deportation notices and a wall. Also english will be the language spoken, everything else is a second language. The message will be clear, if your here illegally, you have no rights to stay.

In addition to deporting illegal immigrants, I will reform the immigration process. A person desiring citizenship will find a simplified procedure that is effective in rejecting forign criminals, yet less beurocratic as well as cheaper… much cheaper. If you would like American citizenship all you have to do is 1. Show your not a criminal or a spy in your current country. 2. Learn english. 3. Sign this form saying “I renounce my citizenship of blank country and am now a us citizen”. The process may take 2 +/- years as learning english will take up most of the process. However it is a much improvement over the current 20+ year long convoluted and expensive process that makes no sense to anyone. Honest and good people should not have a problem getting through having to pay no more then $100 for background checks. If they already speak english, the process will be that much easier. Criminals or spies otherwise will be sifted out very quickly.

Cats and pet Fish will be given full US citizenship and be legally able to run for public office.

“Happy Holidays” is illegal. It will be Merry Christmas.

The 2nd amendment extends to teachers while working, along with any other state employee. Guns will be encouraged to be brought to work. Private sector of course is up to the buisness owner – though encouraged to do the same.

Edward Snowden will be declared a national Hero, and given a federal holiday


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