A Tricky Choice in Christian Duty

The tale begins with my best friend since middle school (pushing 15 years). He lost everything he had with no place to go I brought him in to my house to stay for awhile. His own family basically abandoned him, they wouldnt even let him come to visit- for really no reason they were just as well if he went to the homeless shelter. Terrible people I know.

Since he had no money or anything all I asked was he cleaned the house and dont run up any bills. For 4 months the exact opposite of this deal happened. He didn’t lift a finger,  trashed the house, and yeah I was fuming at the electric bill. I would hear him talk about me behind my back to my friends what a jerk I was asking him to cleanup after me. How I let the dishes pile up everywhere and spill stuff and just don’t care expecting him to do everything around here. Ok so you want to be treated like Cinderella now I can do that. As soon as I handed him a broom and a mop and forced him to clean up his mess, a week later he moved out.

Ayear past when once again he was being evicted with no where to go. This time I said “well good luck” but my husband decided he needs to move in with us… “Friends take care of each other” he said. so well I was over ruled, but this time I want a couple dollars a month to cover the extra bills he will run up, enough to just pay the difference of him being here- $200 a month. Second time he moves in he was always late on his rent, I got an electric bill for $400 in the first month, the house was a mess, and always some random people off the internet was coming in and out. One of these stole some of my video games and old electronics- whom of which my friend insisted he was innocent- but anyway. So 6 months of this (3 months back rent) I started not buying groceries and let the house get filthy with all his friends coming over. And this time I made sure each one knew it was his mess not mine so he didnt have me as an excuse for him being a slob. Embarrassment and starvation made him move out and pay the back rent.

Now a couple months after he leaves the second time he goes to jail for an old driving on suspended registration fine that he already paid, but the courts did not file his payment correctly. Someone knocks on my door saying his bail is only $300 and we would get paid back for it. Well my husband again jumped up and said “No Problem”.

He gets bailed out of jail and promises to pay it back when he can. But all summer long he posted on facebook his trip to Cedar point, his $4000 check he got from such and such, having a great time all summer long. Meanwhile he would completely ignore us for weeks only every once in awhile sending texts to my husband “I will pay you back” when my husband would ask. Every week my husband would see him doing something expensive on facebook and just get pisst, then politely ask about it.

So I got tired of the games and put him out there on facebook, sorta.  I did not name any names but I told the story more or less just as I told you, on my facebook page. We already gave up on the money at this point, but him ignoring us completely about everything just made me want a response, any response would do. When he saw it he immediately unfriended me then blocked me. Well I got my response, he had no intention of paying it.

2 weeks later I get a text from his new friend saying; “Because I stole from him he doesnt have to pay back the $300. And because he offered to let me use his furnature while he stayed here I owe him 6 months back rent that he overpaid. Since most places charge extra rent for furniture included, I owed him. He will create an invoice and send it by certified mail.”

I kid you not he didnt even have the audacity to send that text himself instead some unknown person had to do it. (My house was packed full of his stuff, sitting there being stored- I assume he ment that as me using his furniture Lol)

Me and my husband went back and fourth with this new friend all night telling him everything about my friend. I told him the same story i told you and then some! I told him about all our 15 year history, how he uses people, manipulates, and lies. I asked him “I saved this guy from being homeless twice, now I stole from him? seriously?” Of course he didnt believe me but I knew my friend was sitting in the background hearing every thing I had to say. See I wasnt interested in what this person texting me thought, I want to make sure my friend in the backround listen to the texts understood perfectly clear what an asshole he was. Sure he would deny it up and down, but he knew what I was saying was true. (Yeah angel fish know how to make people feel like S@%#)

we stopped talking I told my friend dont ever come back here again, and blocked his number.

A couple days later in mid August I woke up, I didn’t dream anything, but I just woke up with a strong feeling of knowing my friend will be homeless just before thanksgiving. I told my husband about the feeling he kinda brushed it off.

That brings us to today. His friend texted me and apologized for everything he said to me in August. that they he found out everything I said was true about him. He told me he has a storage unit for his stuff but my friend is on his own. My friend on the other hand texted my husband saying how sorry he was to him and that he hasnt anyplace to go, but hes taking a train to anywhere but here… Without getting a lot of details from either my friend or his Ex boyfriend it sounds like my feeling has come true.

I didnt really want to talk to either of them, I just told them I forgave them both well before they even asked- which is true. But to my friend I told him I just dont trust him or his motives for apologizing. In his mind he seriously thought at first this was just about the $300 it wasn’t, it was about the blatant disrespect well before that, the text message about my “Invoice” of money I owed him just put the iceing on the cake. I also told him as a friend hes been an aweful one with the manipulation and backstabbing, even while I’m struggling to try to help him. I’m just done.

However I am a christian so my puzzle is this. I can see God plainly sent me a message this would come to pass. the trouble with the message it was very neutral, there was no feeling behind it. It felt just like signing a slip for a ups delivery, no anger, sorrow, happiness – nothing. The Bible tells me to feed my enemies if they ask for food and give them water if they are thirsty. It says anyone who reaches out to help them. At the same time the Bible also says he that doesnt work doesnt eat, and it says such a person as my friend should be treated as a stranger (Gentile or Tax collector, which basically means the same thing). It also says a deceitful person such as this brings about their own undoing. I’ve looked through many bible verses for guidance, for fear that my feeling now is to let him go homeless. Though I’m not angry with him, I just feel like this is something that has to happen to him. Yet with so many verses I’m a little conflicted on my christian duty here.

So I’m conflicted. Do I turn my back on him and let him go homeless this time, or do I hunt him down to save him again?

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5 thoughts on “A Tricky Choice in Christian Duty”

  1. I will not give you any Bible Verses! I will als you to use wisdom God has given to you. You can forgive someone but you don’t have to be naive about it. You can help him but you don’t have to have him around you or in your house to do so. If you are able to, send him money/clothes/food/pay for him to stay somewhere…anything but allowing him into your home would not be a very wise thing to do considering his track record. I want to believe Jesus would say the same.
    Pray/talk to God..ask Him for guidance. He still speaks to us today..in your heart..through different means. Stay safe. God bless

    Liked by 2 people

    1. That is very good advice. thank you, currently I directed him to city mission. I told him I simply cant trust him or help him and he’s dug this ditch for himself. The people at the mission are very well equipt with the homeless, they do great things for people in need, including job placement and housing. He is officially on his own, my hands are wiped clean of him. I never thought I’d say this but I feel in my heart this particular individual needs to be homeless, so to learn to be grateful for people in his life. I wasnt the only one he’s played such games with over the years.

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  2. Pointing Him to the people who are better equipped to help him is a good choice.The job placement will help put him on the right path- if he is willing.
    You are right- sometimes it’s good for someone to go through “rough times”, especially if its something they always place themselves in. They learn from it and hopefully he will learn this time. If he is cushioned all the time, he may still take things for granted.

    It is possible the apology was only because you were needed: nevertheless, it is wise to forgive.

    I would urge you to pray for Him…from your heart. He needs the change/transformation and saving which only God can bring. Sow the seed of God’s love in his heart- directly or indirectly.

    God bless

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Quite a quandary. I definitely would hate to be in your shoes. ServingJesusHere offered some sound advice. I would also like to encourage you to pray again. You may not be asking the right way, or listening for the uncommon answer.
    God sometimes has a sense of humor when he answers our prayers. Years ago, I got an infestation of cockroaches from a bakery across the street dumping their trash. Nothing I did was enough to eliminate the critters. I finally asked God for help. I thought it was stupid, but I had no other option. The next morning, the roaches were gone! Now, field mice were running all over the place. They love roaches, so problem solved. Not the way I wanted, but everywhere I have moved I get mice and no roaches. I’ll take that deal. It’s easier to catch mice.
    Tell God everything you’ve said here. Yes, He knows, but that’s not the point. Sit for a few minutes after praying, wait, listen for God’s answer.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you hun, I don’t know why I didn’t even think of that. :-p Here I was looking everywhere else but to the man himself. It’s a wee bit late but just as you said I prayed and asked. a feeling of comfort came over me like a warm fluffy blanket. Like I made the right decision in cutting the guy off. I had a feeling of knowing god has a plan for him to bring him to the lord, but first he must be made humbled. Thanks hun that was great advice. 😀

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